Tuesday, April 18, 2006

How can any reasonable person have a problem with this?



Normally I at least *try* to understand other people’s beliefs when they are different than mine. Take abortion for example. I’m still definitely residing in the “Pro-choice” side of the room but I can completely understand and sympathize with people who are “Pro-Life.” Same thing with people who think that we should stay in Iraq indefinitely. I certainly don’t agree with them but I can see how the whole “Stay the course” mentality can exist.

But after I took a look at this picture today I can no longer even remotely understand how any non-bigoted person can be against gay marriage/adoption.




Just take a second and look at that family. Look at the love. Look at the happiness. Those looks are not those of someone just trying to “Make a statement.” Or of a subversive group trying to “Rewrite marriage.” Look at both of those fathers’ faces and try to tell me that there’s anything there but pure love for their daughter and for their family. And don’t tell me this has anything to with “Traditional moral values.” Slavery and Divine Autocracy were once moral value’s too.

The reason this picture shook me up so much is that I see the happiness they have together and it is exactly the same happiness Allie and I have with Emma. There is no absolutely no difference in the hopes and dreams they have for their child that would separate them from heterosexual couples throughout the world.

I hate the fact that we live I a society where a political party uses people’s fear and bigotry against something that is different to further their own ends. I also hate the fact that so many of these of these otherwise good people play along because they think that somehow this family’s happiness threatens their marriage. If you really believe that, then may I recommend counseling because obviously your marriage is on shaky ground.

Now here’s another picture I found. These are two of the children of a “Good Christian” couple who adopted 11 children.


Here’s the caption for this photo: Bruce Jackson (right) and his three adopted brothers, whose ages range from 9 to 19, weighed 136 pounds collectively.
The same people who would vilify the gay couple above considered this husband and wife “Hero’s.”

Now am I saying that there should be some sort of ban against Christians adopting? No. Am I saying that gay couples make universally better parents? No. Am I saying that banning gay couples from having legal families is a move worthy of the Taliban or the Mullah’s in Iran? Yes. Am I saying that using bigotry to “bring out the vote” is morally reprehensible? Yes. And finally, am I saying that the Dobson’s, Falwell’s, Sanatorum’s, and Rove’s of the world are no better than the Dixiecrats of old, Hell yes I am.

5 Comments:

Blogger Matt, Allie, Emma, and Daylen said...

Sorry about the confusion .I don't feel that a family is irresponsible in adopting or having 11 children. In retrospect I should have used the other picture I found regarding this family. It was a family portrait of this couple and their 11 kids, several of which were adopted. My ( badly stated)point was that if your average anti-gay rights christian was to take a look at both pictures and asked which one was a "better" family they would have almost unanimously chosen the heterosexual family. Of course in this case that family starved four of their kids bringing me to my point that what defines a family is not the sex of the parents, but the commitment and love they share for each other.

12:04 PM  
Blogger Matt, Allie, Emma, and Daylen said...

I have a tendency to leave out the little details sometimes :)

And while I definately do see how you can come to your conclusion about the ideal situation being one mother and one father(given "all things being equal") I would have to say that to me this innocuous statement is sort of the backbone of the anti-gay rights movement.
( Not that I think you are anti gay rights or would consider you in the same boat as Falwell or anything like that. As you probably know I have nothing but respect for your ability to reason and think for yourself, etc. etc. )

The problem ( to me at least) with that belief is that things are never equal in a parenting situation. You can have two set of parents, one hetero, one homo, both with the exact same cultural, financial, and racial demographic and they will still have wildly different parenting styles and choices. There are simply too many factors to be able to compare two kids in similar situations and come out with a conclusion that the hetero couple is better. Of course you can make the argument that because of societal bias against homosexuals children raised by gays will have a tougher life but that argument is more of a judgement on societies problems than quality of parenting. I guess to me I just can't see any one important thing that a child misses out on by having two parents of the same sex that a child with heterosexual parents will benefit from.

3:51 PM  
Blogger Matt, Allie, Emma, and Daylen said...

I kind of agree that men and women are not interchangeable, but that's only because I am not really sure what you mean by that.

So I guess my question then is: What is that important thing that they miss out on?

9:59 AM  
Blogger Matt, Allie, Emma, and Daylen said...

It looks like we'll probably go in circles for a bit here but I still can't see any qualitative difference. While a "Mother is not a Father" and a "Father is not a Mother" a father can be sensitive and compforting in the way a stereotypical mother could. And a mother can teach her son to throw a ball and change a car's oil in the same way a stereotypical father can.

I do see your point about how missing one parent is a less than ideal situation, but to me having that second parent fills that void. And as studies are beginning to show, kids raised by gays are just as screwed up as kids raised by heterosexuals.
:-)

1:17 PM  
Blogger Matt, Allie, Emma, and Daylen said...

I woudn't say that I consider men and women completely interchangeable, however I don't see enough of a difference to register as a "qualitative" difference.

But enough of the serious subjects! Thanks, I can't wait, but apparently Daylen can! He's 4 days overdue now and Allie has an appointment on Wednesday to see how things are going. So here's hoping!

9:59 AM  

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